Re:Friends

I cant believe what i posted.. After re-reading it.. i felt like a loser... No.. friends sometimes might be ignorant of the fact that u're sad but thats only when u close ur heart and not allow them to see through it. If u hide ur feelings how will anyone know but God? Haiz.. i'll keep that post up to remember what a down moment i had and promise i'll never say that kind of stuff about friends ever again.. Friends have tried to cheer me up.. I dunno what i was doing when i posted that message.. -.-!

After a hard day's work during a charity event..
A class picture where everyone was suppose to wear red..

Our very first class picture... Bit small though.

Same day during the "red" moment. Chinese New Year

First time class went bowling..

Well this are mostly class pictures.. For this year.. friends i have met during 2009 and an unforgetable year of A levels and college...

My class mentor's birthday...

this is the only gift we gave to her.. A video..

Friends

Well..
When one laughs, everyone laughs with him.
When one cries, he cries alone..

I've heard it being said that true friends are those who are with you through tears and joy. Well.. for me, when i was happy, everyone laughed with me. But now when i'm sad.. There's no one. Are friends really like this? Or maybe people who i thought to be my friends aren't truly friends. Perhaps i dont have any friends. Perhaps i only thought that i had. Where are those i called friends? Where are they when i needed them? NO where.

In a lot of manga like the Law of Ueki and all those, they are always saying of how they want to protect their friends and then BOOM super power! Haha. Its a pile of bullshit. If its really true, even small little things like when they're sad we'll know.. Perhaps its true that sometimes we make friends because they are useful..


Haha.. god asked us to make disciples of all nations, not make friends of all nations. He didnt say love your friends, but love your neighbours. WHat then are friends? Are they people who will stay by your side no matter what? Will they really be there when you need them? I find that to be untrue.. I do admit i've seen many friendships that are strong and bonded together for many years or throughout their lifetimes. But for me, i've not found such a friend, Even my best friend (or at least i thought he was).

Well, maybe its just me. Maybe i'm just bad at making friends. Maybe its my character that caused all this pain. Whatever the cause, it hurts. Through this pain though, i've learned a lot. Dont depend on friends. Depend on yourself. It's easier and a journey that i can undertake.

10 months in college

It's been ten months since i set foot in Taylors College.. Quite unbelieveable how i turn out.. I've changed a lot since then.. I wouldnt have believed how much i changed.. If ten months ago you told me what would happen to me now.. I probably would have laughed at you.. Haha.

Being in college can change a person.. To an extent that we can never guess.. Although i think some people wont change anything physically but mentally. Their thoughts and mindset.. I wonder could anyone not change when they enter college? Hmm..

Well, so far i take it that this change is good. I hope.. Although sometimes, by slowly changing i didnt really feel that i'm changing.. That i was always like this.. But looking back, i've done many things i never thought i would ever do, slowly turning to someone else..

Being 10 months in college, through this duration, i've gained a lot of experience, being in a class full of girls, i bet you will definitely learn a lot of things.. But still, i think i missed out a lot too, if i had more guys in my class. Haha.. Like go out and do "manly stuff" -.-! Yes, a classs full of girls did change me.. Not more girly i hope, but sometimes its frustrating, girls really do think differently. LOL i always have a perception that all girls would be alike, thinking and all. But through this ten months, OMG. Some girls would tell me they sms the person the have a crush on.. while some.. Haha... they told me how sad they are because the person dont sms them.. When i asked them why don't they sms him first? They told me girls cant sms the guy first! I wonder why...

Falling for a girl in a class full of girls when you're part of the class isnt fun too.. Its frustrating when whatever you do.. Other girls see it.. When you're in a class when its bout equal amount of guys and girls.. perhaps its easier to hide what you're doing.. LOL but i did learn something.. Dont ask too many girls for advice, it hurts.. -.-! Having too many different comments is really confusing. I cant believe the different comments given by them. ALL DIFFERENT. LOL

Oh yeah.. you need to be prepared if you are in a class full of girls... take care of your self esteem. Haha. Keep hearing o0 that guy is cute, no that guy! BUt they never say anything bout you :P LOL Though i only wanted to hear from one particular girl. LOL Oh.. and you'll keep hearing stories bout them crushing on other people. Haiz.. Yeah, its nice and all and they're treating you as someone they trust, but its always different. When they feel like it, they'll tell you. If not they'll just keep it in the dark. Then perhaps after a long period of time, you'll have to find out through other means. Sometimes its none of my business, but it hurts. I thought they took me as a friend they could trust. But they told me some parts and leave me out afterwards. Better that they just keep me in the dark. In that way, i would have put a wall around me early on. Why include me and leave me out afterwards? Haha.. feeling of jealousy now..

Well of course its not that bad in a class full of girls. Its fun, enjoyable and i would say this experience overall is great! I wouldnt have wanted to go to another class. Through this ten months of changing and gaining experience.. Overall, i would say its been great! Yes.. A good ten months.

Betrayed..

What am i feeling right now?
Anger? Hurt? Pain?
No.. its betrayal.. I can't believe it. I believe i've been acting as a friend.
When he needed help i was there, but when i thought he would help, he left me.
He said, Let's do this together! We'll go and conquer places.
But when it came to decision time, he betrayed me.
I pulled him up but he left me down.
I thought he will help me, pull me along when i helped him.
But he did not. He just look and left me.. He betrayed me.
We can never be partners again.

Pendragon! Fav book..

Haha.. Pendragon is my fav book series and the last book is coming out soon!!! Can't wait!! I gotta go buy myself one.. Quickly come!!!


Visit the official Pendragon website!

Secrets...

Hmmm.. Secrets..
I wonder what are they?
They were taboo, untold things.. not spoken out loud..

Today in my class, 2 friends were fighting.. the whole class mood change after lunch.. I wonder what happened...
Went to ask A but he wont tell me.. Except.. Nothing.. Nothing happen..
Went to ask B but she also won't tell me.. Except.. Ask A la!
So who should i ask???

Even their closest friends dont wan to tell me.. They said they don't know.. Haiz..

This got me wondering.. Is this a secret? Its private but i thought our class were all friends? Why won't they tell us? All gloomy and stuff but still they won't tell us..

Is it a secret to be shared only to best friends? Should secrets be shared only to best friends? Could it not be shared with others too? We're in a class and its affecting the class too right? They should tell us....Shouldn't they???

Totally...

Haiz.. Ok its settled.. I'm making a commitment of at least posting something here... Never intended on letting anyone see it.. But oh well.. It might be fun anyway..

3 Months in College

Well, it's been three months since i wrote anything.. Dun know why i would write this but i guess its cause i dunno where else to say this..

After 3 months of college I've noticed something.. The behaviour of girls.. They are totally different from what i knew.. Everytime i thought i knew about them had to be deleted. It's not like they are aliens or anything.. But they way they communicate and react to something is different from guys.. Guys are an argument can make up and laugh about it but they cant. They will hate you till the rest of thier lifes...

Thank God i din make them angry but another girl did.. How could it be that we were so close.. I thought our class was very united and stuff but only after a few months conflict can be seen. Groups again came back with various people sticking with only certain groups and its not during lunch only.. Its every time.. They would not mix and started having fractions. The problem was really obvious when a girl made the class angry.. Everyone ignored her..

How come they could not make up? Could it be that I'm doing a bad job? That's why they are not united? Should more activities be done so that our bond could be stronger and therefore less conflict? But everyone is busy all the time.. We can't fit all and all can't fit us in.. If we can't get everyone together how would we bond? This is ridiculous.. It's holiday and i'm thinking what the hell is wrong with the class....? Maybe i should just forget it... Let it go on... At least that's the advice i got from a friend.. Just leave it and somehow the girls will be able to fix their own problem..

Maybe... Just Maybe...

26 people in one class,
we all thought this year is going to be a blast,
How would anyone have guessed?
that now it is all a freaking bloody mess.

Well its not totally terrible,
We still have fun and joke-able,
Thats a little something to go on by,
hope it will be enough to stop a girl cry.

I think something needs to be done,
Done and quickly too by this month,
We need get everyone together,
close like brothers and sisters.

Then maybe we wun fight,
Nor each other will we bite,
We will join together and study,
talk and share like close buddies.

College!

Well, after going through three weeks of college life.. It's very different..
I wonder which joker said it was a lot of free time and less time in class...
I found it the total opposite!
I spent most of my time in class enjoying lecture...
haha..
No time at all.. all at college!
But its fun.. Thank god i got a good class with really fun and friendly classmates!
Enjoyed their presence and really help ease my tensions bout joining college..
Haha... the butterflies in my stomach was gone on day 1 of college!

(NO poems this time...)