50 first dates

i rewatch this today with close friends and it was nice. touching to be more exact.

half way through my friend asked.. can someone really be like that and he wasnt asking about the losing their short term memory.. he was asking if someone can really stick on to a person even though they would forget them..

i thought of course la.. love is strong.. then again.. no la.. its just a show.. adam sandler wouldnt have developed those feelings so strongly with meeting only one day..

but later i began to think.. its a decision.. he didnt fall for her hopelessly. but he made the decision that he loves her and he stayed. it wasnt hopelessly in love, but strongly in love. binding cause he wants to be near her. :S

i wonder if one day i would ever be like that.. ;p

John 15 (he wouldnt give you up)

"He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit,"

I am not a christian who is fruitful.. Strike that. I think im fruitless. :(

Whenever i read this i usually will go crap.. im dead.. oh well.. since im going to be dying then might as well enjoy myself and be happy right? Don't waste my time being sad.

But yesterday, when a pastor was preaching and i was falling asleep, he shared this.. the words 'cuts off' in Greek = airo which means :

1. to raise up, elevate, lift up
   1. to raise from the ground, take up: stones
   2. to raise upwards, elevate, lift up: the hand
   3. to draw up: a fish
2. to take upon one's self and carry what has been raised up, to bear
3. to bear away what has been raised, carry off
1. to move from its place
2. to take off or away what is attached to anything
3. to remove
4. to carry off, carry away with one
5. to appropriate what is taken
6. to take away from another what is his or what is committed to him, to take by force
7. to take and apply to any use
8. to take from among the living, either by a natural death, or by violence
9. cause to cease

You see.. the first meaning is not to cut off or throw away but to lift up, apparently gardeners do not just cut off the branches if they dont bear fruit.. They are way too precious, every branch.. but they would lift all these branches who dont bear fruit, clean them and tie them to make sure they get enough sunlight and nurture them back so they would be fruitful again.. patiently waiting for them.

I was really touched by that. That God didn't want any of us to die.. or be thrown away.. as the gardener he's still willing to lift us up and wait.. nurturing us.. every hoping we would be fruitful...

QR codes.

Anyone there??

I just found out a friend read this blog. =.= came back after a long time.

THAT was awkward. not the 'long time never chat' but the 'someone reading my crap' awkward.

This so called "blog" is all about emo-ing and posting crap up. I'm going for a change i think. Seriously going to use this blog and post up stuff about myself and life's experience. Maybe it'll serve as an online diary, journal or scrapbook..

Yeah i know.. era of blogging is over and all.. but hey.. i'm a slow learner. LOL

:P

Rm 300 and counting...

First rm 300 i've earned. :D

Of things to lose...

I'm pretty sure no one reads this again. so its safe to type whatever i want.. :S

Crap.. Lost a friend's belonging.. I've never been much of a responsible person i guess but i have never lost anything not belonging to me.. and now.. i lost notes belonging to someone important to me. Shit. =.=

Of all the times to lose something and of all the things to lose.

Damn. Not a good week.

Is it me?

Well when conversation goes blank who's fault is it? I think its mine.. Its sad.. i cant keep up a good enough or interesting conversation. haha. pathetic. That's all i have for now..

In the darkness...

no.. im not having an emo session right now. haha not like usual i guess but literally in the dark. lights in the room are not switched on. I feel tired but i dont feel like sleeping.. sometimes i wonder if there's something wrong with my internal clock already...

On the bright side! Weehee! Earned my first three hundred ringgit today. :D I think i just might put a pic of it on this blog. not now but definitely soon. haha. if not it'll be gone. :P

Tomorrow's going be a long day.. Its an outing to midvalley and I'm still not asleep and I'm tired. When i sleep.. difficult to wake up.. :( Guess i'll go sleep de.. night world.

Wavering

Yes.. I had a game plan. but I'm beginning to lose focus.. Though i just came back from a trip from kuantan, my eyes are tired, a headache is starting.. argh!

Some things i've made up m mind but now.. i'm not so sure.. am i ready to do this? oO

Well on the bright side, there's been progress on studies. That's a start. Feel like going out.. It's been a week almost. haha.

I'm watching this show.. Where a guy comforted a girl he used to like, and he makes sure he tells the girl he loves now about it, making sure she knows. She asks him.. " why are you telling me this?" hmm.. I think a guy would want a girl he loves to know everything about him and what he's doing right? What if she finds out the wrong way? What if she doesnt like it? @.@

Anyway.. besides the romance.. again.. bored.. i want to go out. :((( hmm.. dialing now.. :P

Uncertainty

Life is full of uncertainties. Everybody knows that, but we don't realise it all the time. Most of the time, (at least me) we just live life enjoying not worrying about what the hells' going on tomorrow. Of course there will be moments that hits you in the face.. Like what the hecks' going to happen to me? Now this is one of those moments.

From now to Dec 2012 = IMU medical course

Onwards? *Blank*

I was always debating between taking the USMLE, or going to canada. Not really the UK.

But now a university I was aiming for left the partner program. I cant twin to Memorial anymore.

:(

I've also heard from a senior that the cost to go to Jefferson in the United States would go up to about 700 thousand ringgit. Oo No way am i going there.

So now I'll have to look at Aberdeen and Dundee. The two most wanted uni in between my batchmates. Great.. Although I know sometimes in life.. well most, you have to compete with others to get what you want but I've always tried to keep myself away from competing with other people.. expect this one time in April where I ran for elections against some guy who pisses everyone off and still wins and a girl who now i kinda wish i didnt run against but am glad i did cause if not i wouldnt have gotten the chance to meet her.

Well all I know now is life's going to be different. No matter what happens, after this holiday I must change. For better or worse.. the life i've been living would not work for what i will have to face.

Happenings of the Day

I went for a scholarship interview today.. I wasnt sure what to expect but it didnt meet my expectations.. If that made sense.. Went KLCC super early in the morning and none of the shops were opened. They would only open at 10am. I was told during the interview the most I would get is RM 20 k if they award me the scholarship. It is a lot, don't get me wrong but its less than what i would need to make sure my parents have the money for my brother to go to any university he wants. Yes... he says he doesn't want to go to Ivy leagues or anything but I don't want to have to take that option away from him

My parents gave me a talk about money and tuition cost but it was now.. when i tried to apply for scholarship that it really hit me.. how much can my parents really afford? They dont want to tell me but i doubt it would be much.. :S

On the bright side.. watched She's the Man. Thats funny. really brighten up my day. And of course whatsapp too. :D

Game plan

Well

Game plan

1) get all the notes of sem 3 (DONE)

2) start guitar classes.

3) Make my work out schedule.

4) Revise my sem 2 stuff

haha, one done.. guess thats 25%? its the easiest one in the list but hey, one step at a time right? :P

In uni today.. only a few people here and yet its noisy in the PBL rooms. Dunno what the heck people next door trying to do. But cant blame them la.. I'm not studying also. Busy typing this message. Not really disturbing anything important.

I realised something today.. I say a lot of things but never make them happen. I must stop this habit. =.=

Got an interview for Maxis scholarship on Thursday.. Its only the first round so nothing much la.. But i wonder is

a point to go. Probably wont get it.. Yes, negativity. but its the truth, not trying to be pessemistic. I guess its good too.. as an experience. ?.?

Bored...

Go out a lot nowadays since its holidays.. but it is getting boring.. sometimes.. and this is one of the moments. :(

what does it mean? i get sick of school, studying but when holidays here.. i can get bored?? what do i want then? oO

Arrghh!!